I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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