Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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