omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
