Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
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I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
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He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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