Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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