Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
