he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
