That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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