love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just cut my nipple shaving
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
