Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
