How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
