I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
