all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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