it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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