lets start a swedish sibling band together
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
