What did we do last night that was yellow?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
