Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
