well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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