He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
All I want is dick and wine.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
