i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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