i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
