I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.