Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum