who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.