Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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