Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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