You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
the gays at disneyland are vicious
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
