so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
