He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
