sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
