i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My cat gives me a boner
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
