So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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