i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
