I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.