You're so nebulous sometimes
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
i think my cat just said my name.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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