apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
