we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
