wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
