on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
