There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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