While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i out mim tonsoeep
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
