I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
