So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
