you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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