if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
