You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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