i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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