i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
