omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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