shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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