There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
