tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
