it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
