Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
