I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize