The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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