Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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