I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
